So much for keeping up with my beloved blog! Let's see...since my last post...
Michael, one of our very best buds from home came to visit for a few days and we had a great time...(aside from me working everyday)! The boys went to the casino a few times, I made them a few delicious dinners, we went bowling and to the zoo, and played Monopoly!
I started cocktailing at a bar up the street and have just decided today that it is not for me. It could be the whole new girl thing, or maybe people here are just different then I am use to. No please and thank you, or good job today or even any sort of acknowledgement. Each shift was at least 8 hours, there were 3 days where I worked 11 hours and I had like one day off in 5 days. You had to start your shift in heels and if no one was in the bar you had to constantly be doing something...no breaks. It was emotionally and physically draining. I would come home to go to bed just so I could get up the next day and do it again. The very first day I came home and cried to David, but I really wanted to stick it out. I wanted it to work. I hate hate hate being a quitter, especially since I am such a hard worker, but I can't do something where I am constantly stressed out/anxious/worried. I came home last night and cried again to David and we just decided that this little bump of a job on my life time line isn't worth it. Especially since I don't have to work, I was just trying to make a little extra spending/vacation money. I just feel like I can not find my place here. Everything in Greensboro was so perfect, and it is just so hard for me to even get just a little piece of that back, no matter how hard I try. I wonder if this aching feeling will ever go away...that is what it feels like, just a constant ache...like the feeling you get when you feel like you have forgotten something. David is great though. I thank God for him (and Arto) everyday. They so supportive and loving and they help me get through the day. I know alot of these emotions are coming from me quitting because I feel like I have failed, and I am just drained (but I know there are only like 5 of you reading this so I can share them on here, and it actually makes me feel a little bit better to let it out.)
Next...
Back in September I applied to be a flight attendant and I just got an email to interview with them tomorrow. Now as you all know I am signed up for esthetician school in March (which I am super excited about) but I am still going to go tomorrow and find out what the deal is. I know that it is for GoJet which is an express division of United, but that is pretty much everything I know. How awesome would it be if I was just working direct flights back and forth from MO to NC...hey a girl can dream! :) We will see, I am all over the place, just trying to find where I belong.
I have been to the gym twice since my last blog post, still trying to eat healthy, I have for the most part cut out dairy and have switched my milk cravings to chocolate silk. (soy) I lost 3 pounds while working because I didn't eat anything and I was stressed to the max. I finally have a Gyno apt. Friday so hopefully we will be able to run some tests and figure out why I haven't had a period since September.
This has been one blah blog...sorry, but I actually feel a little bit better! On a lighter note, is anyone watching the Bachelor? This is the very first season that I got trapped in to. I wonder how much of it is staged. I love that sweet little country Kacie. Courtney is terrible and David likes her so that makes me dislike her even more...haha...Davids reason...because she is a model...blah...boys will be boys I guess.
Love,
B
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